And so the starvation and excessive workouts begin. I hate being depressed. But when nothing seems right, hubby's sick, we're arguing I guess you'd say, and he won't text me, I feel like I have nothing to turn to but focusing on my body. I'm falling apart. I can barely see the keyboard right now through the tears and all I can think is I love him. Only him. I just wish he knew how much a simple text means to me. Just a message like goodmorning or even hi from him can completely turn my day around but I don't think he realizes it. I really hope he can make it through days like today with me. I can get very emotional at times which tend to scare them off when really I need them to come closer. I mean I plan to have a future with this boy! It takes alot to get that from me! You must be an angel compared to others for me to even consider that. I hope he understands that I'm not letting him slip away without a fight. No. I'm not letting him slip away period. Unless of course he gives me the dreaded words, 'I don't want you.' Then I would let him proceed to something that actually makes him happy. But for now he has me believing I'm his happiness. I pray it stays that way forever unto eternity.
Well so far I feel a bit better. I'm slowly starting to catch my breath. Maybe he'll actually read this...I guess I won't know unless he tells me. He should know that when I say I love you I mean that I can look past any flaws and find all good in him and will never leave him until I die. Hopefully he gets that.
Anyways I'll post again, hopefully not another big confession/vent/sob story.
I love you guys!
Thanks for reading!
Peace, love, NotSoAverageGirl<3
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