You're The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine(:

✰ Listen to her secrets
Call her first
Lable her as yours,
Understand her feelings,
tell her she's gorgeous.♥
write her a song...
never imagine life without her.
kiss her in the rain.
hold her hand all the time
[give her love letters.]
be her escape.
give her hugs and kisses.
show her off to your friends.
treat her like a star.
tell her she's amazing.
dream about her.
say she has the key to your heart.
watch her walk home so she's safe.
kiss her on the forehead.
tell her she's right.
stay together forever and let love last.♥

Frustration. What is love anyways?

He doesn't love me. Or maybe he does. Maybe he's just not in love? I don't know what the he'll is going on. I just feel like I'm living a lie all of a sudden. I'm depressed. And when I'm depressed, I don't eat. Better get ready to welcome skinny bitch back! And I don't know why the last few posts have seemed kinda like I'm talking to my babe because I know damn sure that if he can't think to text me then I know he don't have time for my blog either. Sorry if I'm just rambling. These are just random thoughts that are running out as I'm typing. I love the boy to death. I know I do. He's my one, the one. Am I his? Like for real? I need to know these things. I want him to chase after me to keep me from leaving. I want him to prove to me he wants me to stay. Is that really too much to ask for? If so I'm sorry. I guess I'll end up in life alone.
Well I can't even read the keyboard right now so I'm gonna get off this post. I'll post tomorrow perhaps.
NotSoAverageGirl

You're the Love I Wanna be In

By choice, I would be your bright tears

Conceived in your heart then born from your eyes,

My course continues without any fears

I’d live on cheeks, die on your lips and end your cries.

May your voice be the most divine;

A melody that soothes my inner most side.

Eventually I’ll learn your lyrics and see the sign,

That one day, I shall be your bride.

Your heart, so delicate, so true,

Once loved, then torn, and eventually in pieces.

But with me there will be no boohoo’s,

Only the love and bliss increases.

As others have done, I will not do you wrong.

Therefore, together we shall only grow strong.

I want you, to want me.

And so the starvation and excessive workouts begin. I hate being depressed. But when nothing seems right, hubby's sick, we're arguing I guess you'd say, and he won't text me, I feel like I have nothing to turn to but focusing on my body. I'm falling apart. I can barely see the keyboard right now through the tears and all I can think is I love him. Only him. I just wish he knew how much a simple text means to me. Just a message like goodmorning or even hi from him can completely turn my day around but I don't think he realizes it. I really hope he can make it through days like today with me. I can get very emotional at times which tend to scare them off when really I need them to come closer. I mean I plan to have a future with this boy! It takes alot to get that from me! You must be an angel compared to others for me to even consider that. I hope he understands that I'm not letting him slip away without a fight. No. I'm not letting him slip away period. Unless of course he gives me the dreaded words, 'I don't want you.' Then I would let him proceed to something that actually makes him happy. But for now he has me believing I'm his happiness. I pray it stays that way forever unto eternity.
Well so far I feel a bit better. I'm slowly starting to catch my breath. Maybe he'll actually read this...I guess I won't know unless he tells me. He should know that when I say I love you I mean that I can look past any flaws and find all good in him and will never leave him until I die. Hopefully he gets that.
Anyways I'll post again, hopefully not another big confession/vent/sob story.
I love you guys!
Thanks for reading!
Peace, love, NotSoAverageGirl<3

Just A Kiss(:

Hey there!!
I've made it back soon! haha
Anyways, can't jibber too long. I'll be heading to my hubby's here shortly. :) Staying with him once again! Get to see him and our baby boy Ciroc, my two favorite boys!:) Roc is slowly learning to be house trained. His daddy said he pooped on the pad last night! Woohoo! lol One proud mommy!! And I can't wait to kidnap him for a night tomorrow! Give daddy a break even though he says he doesn't need it. I think he just doesn't want him to go. ;) Him's done got attached!! Poor boy has to work tomorrow which means I really only have tonight with him but that's better than nothing! I don't ever see him during the week because he's always busy. :( Friday is about all I get from him. Oh well. I have the rest of my life with the boyy!:DD
It's 20 days until I leave for DC!! sooooo excited!
I went swimming with the best friend today and I think I got a lil red. My arms are letting off so much heat! lol I know our bed will be hot tonight!!!!;)
Only 10 weeks till I get to move in college and 12 weeks until I'm legal and can be put in big girl jail!! haha Gucci!:D
Approximately 30 minutes till I head to his house... And it's times like these where I wish time would fly!!!
I really should be extra sweet tonight because I've been a true bitch to him this week whether I meant to or not. I feel really bad. He even pissed me off in my dream last night! haha You see I was at my house and my parents were about to leave to head to the lake and they said I could have a friend over so I invited my boyfriend and my best girlfriend. Turns out my best friend showed up with alot of people who decided to have a pool party at my house that night without asking us. So my parents ended up staying to keep an eye on the place during the party. It was all going good until I was chilling in the pool talking to this one girl and my boyfriend came up and started holding her hand. I didn't say anything and neither did they. So I went in to the house for a minute and when I came back out they had cuddled up on one of the chairs that lays out. I still ignored for a while and then they both got in the pool and she came to talk to me while he went to talk to the guys. Then I swam across the pool to get out at the ladder which was about 5 feet from him and he started to swim away because he thought I was coming over to him. I ended up going inside and changing and cried my eyes out. No one asked any questions. Not even my best friend. When I finally came out everyone was gone including him. I asked where he went and they said he left with that girl. That's about where I woke up and I was so mad I was crying in my sleep! haha How pathetic?! I can't help but get protective over him though. I love him way too much to let him get away that easy.
Well, that wasted a full 15 minutes. Wonderful. I guess I'll get off here and go pack.
Enjoy your summer loves!
I'll be back on very soon! Promise!
Lovelove:
NotSoAverageGirl :)

I Get A Little Bit Stronger(:

Hey guys! Hmmm, where to start?? Well I know it's been forever since I've posted but I promise I haven't forgotten about y'all. I've been super busy. So much excitement going on. I'm finally a registered honor student at ASU! :)) I truly canNOT wait for college to start. I got to drive there yesterday for the first time alone! It was a wonderful day!
I also have the DC trip coming up soon. 22 days until we leave!!! That will be one busyyy week! It will be loads of fun though.
The family is...well the family. When do I not fight with them? Haha My 18th birthday needs to hurry!!! I will be much better off. Happy and less stress.
I'm taking summer classes right now. One morning class and one night class. They're not too bad but I still stress like always.
The little cousin came back with me yesterday. :) she gets to stay a week with us. Fun stuff!
I really can't wait for July. My friend and I are planning to tryout for American Idol at St. Louis. The plan is for us to go in the room together and sing and play a song we've written. We'll be playing our guitars and singing along. Music is absolutely our life! :)
I'm really loving the new cd I made today. Except pretty much every song relates to love. That sounds about right. I guess it's just because I'm a girl, or maybe I really am in love. You knew I had to mention that boy sooner or later! ;) he is very busy with work here lately, which means I hardly see or talk to him. :'( I know it's not his fault, but I get really flustered. I'm surprised he hasn't dumped me for bitching him out so much here lately. What really pisses me off is him not talking to me more than he does. I'm a busy busy girl and even I find time to talk to him. Here lately I just feel like I've been chasing him instead of the other way around. He warned me it's gonna be tough being a farmer's girl. I'm willing to do whatever I must though. I really do love this boy. He's the only one I love. I pray day and night he doesn't beat my heart down. I Can be myself around him and we really connect. We've been together for a little over two months now. :) I can't wait to be his forever! Here recently we've been getting tangled often. Every Friday night I find a way to stay with him and we (so far) have had sex every time. It's breathtaking it's so amazing! Last Friday I rode the tractor with him. Yes, on there too!!! Lol but besides the fact that we did that I loved every minute of it! I can't wait to be able to ride with him more often. I'm still debating on whether I want him to read this or not. That's alot of feelings!! I guess it's good we have a strong trust bond. I miss him allll the time. I just hope he knows I'm dead serious about us and I would die for him. He may do things that upset me but nothing could break my love for him. NOTHING! :)
Well I think it's about bedtime! I'll post again, sooner this time!
Goodnight my lovesss! (:
Peace, Love, NotSoAverageGirl<3

If I Fall, Will You Let Me Down Easy?(;

Heyyooo!(:
This is one happy girl!! Let me tell you! There's no reason for this girl to ever stop smiling now. How could my life get any more perfect?! I just thought I had things right with Caleb. Eh hem. No sir! Yeah he may have been one really sweet and faithful guy but this boy, this amazing guy has him beat by a long shot!
I'll tell you a bit about him...obviously he's 21. He just bought himself a new truck. I swear he spoils himself wayyy too much!;) haha jk! He THINKS he's gonna spoil me but that's not gonna happen;) I ain't with him for material things. More like that sparkling personality! I've never met a guy so dedicated and serious about what he says. Of course, me being a teenage girl, I've gotten the 'We're gonna get married' line before. However, when it's with him, I know for a fact it's true. It's not just my head that believes it like it was with the others. My whole body aches with happiness and love.(:
Last night, we went to my grandparents' to get our puppy from my aunt. Ciroc(: He slept in the bed with us half the night haha. He's gonna be a momma's boy. He had to sleep curled up next to his mommy with his daddy wrapped around us. One happy family!:D
Marriage?! Yeah I think so! He says he wants to marry me and I say I want to marry him. He asks me if I'm being serious???? Ummm, baby let me just tell you that I love you more than life itself, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back a million and two times, forever and always, no matter what. I'm not going anywhere as long as you don't want me to! It's all up to you...just I ask you to please not hurt me.
I know this was just one big mushy gushy lovey post but I can't stop thinking about that boy. :)
Anyways take care my dears!
8 more days of school!!!
Less than 3 weeks till graduation!!!
Life. Is. Perfect.
Peace, Love, & NotSoAverageGirl(: