Sooo, this is a conversation between Caleb and I. This lets you know where we stand and how we feel about one another.(: It starts off with Mr. Caleb:
"So I gotta question, how do u see us right now?"
"What do you think?"
"I asked u first."
"I don't care."
"Well I think I really care about you, and have found something in you I haven't seen in anyone else."
"Like what?"
"A caring person who sees me for me, doesn't care and I think that you care about me, idk you are just everthing I ask for in a girl."
"Oh I see. Well I'm glad you see that in me. I don't know how to explain how I feel exactly. Like I really do like you and care for you but I still don't wanna rush things. I'm not sure how long it's gonna be til I'm ready for a full committed relationship. I can't risk getting hurt again. I still can cry myself to sleep if I think about things too much. I'm afraid to fall cause I know I'll fall hard. It happens every time, I'm left empty handed and broken hearted. I've learned to be very cautious and I'm not really ready to get real close with someone just yet. I have alot going for me right now. Like I said, I so like you and care for you and I would get upset if I no longer had you. It just doesn't feel right without you."
"I don't want to feel like I pressured u into me, if u decide to be with me then ull never see me frown, ur a very special girl."
"I wouldn't let you pressure me. I've learned to let go early on if it's not what you want cause it will just hurt worse later. Honestly, I picture myself with a guy like you and a family like yours. I just constantly wonder if this is what I'm supposed to be doing or who I'm supposed to be with. You know what I mean I'm sure. Like I feel God needs to speak up for me and tell me where to go. I know for a fact you're the perfect kind of guy for me. I like you and I think about us and think I really might be able to love this boy one day. But then again I may think hmmm, I'm not sure he's the one which makes me remember to keep things slow and try not to get too attached. I don't want either one of us to get hurt. You're something new for me. All my exs have been "bad" boys. It's kinda hard for me to grasp my calm and not so wild side so I don't just like take control."
"Sorta, but right now I don't question that stuff, God put you in front of me for a reason, love isn't out of the question, but its to soon to be for sure, it is hard making the switch, but I'm gunna be honest im falling, and its hard not to, your a great girl, my family loves you, and we have similiar friends, its just to many coincidences to not mean something."
"Lol I see where you're coming from. I've thought these things through a million times. My dream has always been to marry my high school sweetheart and I may have a chance. After Sl--- I basically gave up that dream. But maybe God wants me to fulfill that dream after all. Idk. I'll find out in time. Time is the key to everyting. We just can't be too focused on ourselves. We still have the rest of senior year, this summer, college, and a job to begin before actually needing to fall in love."
"True, I guess I just need to slow down and realize what's going on, life is short, and finding a companion who is a best friend isn't easy, somehow I got lucky and found you."
"Haha yeah. Sometimes I think about us and our situation. I feel that we should work towards the best friend relationship each of us has with the opposite sex. Around friends and even alone we shouldn't have to act like a couple. That's what the married years are for right? Don't get me wrong. I love kisses and goofing off is okay every once in a while. But you have your whole adult life for serious couple like stuff. Why waste all the fun and get bored with it now? It'll make that wedding night even more of a surprise turnout. :)"
"I see what you mean, but keeping a spark is also based on small kisses and such, you also don't wanna get bored and risk losing something over not showing affection, but honestly are you trying to say we should just be friends? That's kinda the vibe I'm getting."
"Nooo! That's not it at all dear! I'm just saying we don't have to rush anything. Let our relationship go where it pleases as long as we don't get too serious still in high school."
"Ohhh I see well, its 11, tomorrow is a big day and we have all the time in the world to talk, sweet dreams A-----, sleep tight."
"Sweet dreams sweet prince:)"
Okayy soo that's a very, VERY personal conversation buuuut I feel safe enough with you guys to let you have the everything.
I love you all sooo much!
Peace, love, your..NotSoAverageGirl(:
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